John Cusack...
I'm Sorry
One time at Birds cafe in Franklin Village I uttered an atrocity to shame all atrocities. I will preempt this with the fact that I believe Franklin Village to be another form of hell. That’s where the ex girlfriends and brothers of celebrities party. (Sorry “La Poubelle,” your name says it all) so anything I said when I lived in Franklin Village was poisoned by the lameness of cool boots and giant hats. (I, 1000% wore cool boots and giant hats the entire time)
FIRST MISTAKE
Cool Boots n Hats. JK…
The atrocity that I uttered that fateful day at lunch was …
“I don’t really like John Cusack.”
I instantly regretted it.
“What in the actual fuck?” The statement wasn’t even 100% true, but I had to stand by my words. I was sitting at a table of writers, sharks, friendly sharks, alas, wayyyyy high chance of death.
SECOND MISTAKE
The second mistake of the utter, was saying it to hot-to-trot director Josh Boone who was working on “The Stand” remake for Stephen King with my two Guns N Roses Fan Besties, writers Jill Killington & Knate Lee.
If they are good enough to write for King…fuck me man.
They are basically the staff at Championship Vinyl in High Fidelity. But for movies, in fucking Franklin bitch-ass Village.
Quick wit.
Even quicker whips.
I don’t remember what Josh’s response was, I think just like “Oh yeah?” (Awkward chuckle) Instantly losing any respect I’d built with him in a sense of “knowing what the fuck is going on.” I tried to think of another thing to say, recover by saying how much I liked the film 1408.
Knate looked at me through slowly lowered Raybans, while Jill did the ol’ eye roll whistle.
I was in cold waters. Starving; sharks swirling.
I was Jack waiting for Rose to let him on that raft.
I drowned and most likely changed the subject back to Guns N Roses.
THIRD MISTAKE
Not watching High Fidelity until yesterday for the first time. (June 12, 2024)
I recently found out that I have raging ADHD. One of the weird symptoms of it is a massive defiance to any suggestion made to you. No matter the subject. At least for me it’s Films & TV or anything my husband suggests. (Sorry Love lol)
So in the year 2000 when I lived nestled into the Canadian Rockies and didn’t have TV let alone a movie theater anywhere near me, it wasn’t happening. And then when the film was released to VHS or DVD I still didn’t want to watch it because it was supposed to be cool.
Oh hey, society thinks this thing is cool. I HAVE TO NEVER WATCH IT AND PRETEND its not a thing.
And mostly it was being suggested to me by dudes that acted like I assumed they did in High Fidelity.
Which I wanted no part of.
High Fidelity is a great film. Like to-a-tee-fucking-perfect. The guy you have to break up with but are dreading to. Nothing screams THE YEAR 2000 more than this. Flannels, records, Lisa Bonet. Cardigans. Clever angst. Mix tapes.
And Jack Black is a gift to us all.
The film didn’t change my life, but I will tell you, at 43 and married and out of the “love game” I couldn't be happier. I used to think you couldn’t be an artist and be in love. Or a woman can’t have love and be successful. So it was one or the other.
And having some successes and some massive failures under my belt (elastic waistband.) I know that to be very untrue. And sad that I somehow feared resenting a child or a man so I could be famous or something.
It sounds so lame but it’s true. Life is what you make of it. And that's it.
We have the pen, the paper, the compass and the map.
Legs, feet shoes and all.
If you're at a standstill it’s because you stopped moving.
And THAT is where my dislike for High Fidelity came, and poor Cusack to take the blame. I stopped moving. Stopped progressing. Stopped thinking outside the box.
I am to solely blame for not writing my book. Not making my movie. Not doing anything really. I have always wanted to write a book about my experiences with love and hate and the rest of it. That’s what this newsletter was meant to be. An outline of that book. “Dust Bit, Tales of a Hollywood Never was”
Pink Pages for me, Blue for the boys. Rainbow for the Debauchery. I’m sick of holding in every feeling. I need to let it out.
So if you fucked me….fuck you. (I’ll let you write your own chapter!)
Maybe John Cusack can do my foreword one day.
Cusask, you’ve always been there for us. And I know you always will be. Narrating through the 4th wall forever. Judging each and every one of us for the downfalls in which we proudly display and let control us. And for reminding us to be better.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for having a voice & using it. You deserve this star on the Walk of Fame more than you know.
….
For Conair
For “Being” John Malkovich
For 1408 (Fuck that fucking room)
And Better off Dead.
(I still can’t with Serendipity. I wanna write about love, but still unsettled with romance. So maybe I'll watch that one out when I’m 63. I’ve never even seen “You’ve got mail!”)
JC for PREZ
LG
