Dear Spike Jonze

The first time I ever made a video for someone was for film director Spike Jonze. (as seen above) The fact that Jonze’s epic film career spiked (see what I did there) from making skateboard videos was mind blowing to me. I mean he’s mega talented and smart but in the 90’s being cool enough to make skate videos was a door into music videos and then into films. Spike has made some of the best music videos of all time in my opinion and so many fucking insanely fantastic films as well.

First contact was through email. I think one time I had an agent ? lol. And they gave me Spikes email address.

I really wanted to interview Spike for my documentary about the Whiskey Snowboard Videos. (See my earlier post “Whiskey Dick” to read about that nightmare) So I paid a homeless man $5-$20 I can’t remember. I really hope it was $20, to sing a song for Spike. I think we smoked a joint together after. Very hazy on that.

And then to commence the email. I had a really bad habit of writing long emails in my 20s. I even thought about naming a movie “Painfully long emails to Assholes.” Spike’s not an asshole. But he still got a long email.

I don’t remember what I said, which I’m thankful for. But I remember the subject line which was 100% the reason he opened it. It read,

“Have you watered your barren farm of hope lately?”

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!?

I was so emo. BUT,  it worked.

He wrote back. I also can’t remember what he wrote but I’m pretty sure it was that he appreciated the note and video but was too busy to do the interview.

I didn’t really care. SPIKE JONZE KNEW I EXISTED. And it became a running joke for my friend Feet Banks and I to say whenever we had a dumb question. Dear Spike Jonze…. Why am I so hungover? Dear Spike Jonze, Please buy me a sandwich. Dear Spike Jonze, Why am I such a loser? Etc etc etc.

Years would go by and I’d finally get to interview Spike for a documentary I was directing about Big Brother Skateboard mag, which would be the 2nd doc I made to be shelved, out if my many shelved docs. (I have lots of fun stories about that project coming to a reader near you.) (Also the doc about Big Brother would come out a decade later and it’s called Dumb and on Hulu. I didn’t make it, I may have gotten some bullshit camera credit, but I was too depressed & being a hater to go to the premier. I will say the director used my rough cut as his guide, so suck it director bro. Who cares if you can skate lol)

Anyways back to the interview. I had no idea I was going to interview Spike. I was editing something at Dickhouse when Jeff Tremaine called my extension and said come to my office to do an interview for the doc.

I walk in completely unprepared to see Spike sitting there.

“Oh hey. Nice you meet you, I’m that weird girl who emailed you about the Whiskey doc a long time ago.” I blurt out.

Because I was always so stoned I don’t remember what he said. But Spike is always just happy and positive in my opinion. We talked about Big Brother Magazine which Spike worked on with Jeff, who was the magazine’s editor. The magazine would spawn Jackass. It was full of stupid shit and a little bit of skateboarding.

All I really remember is that I had to say “Poocano” to Spike. I dare you to google Poocano.

The thing that always impressed me about Spike is how humble he is. I’d see him a few years later on the Set of Jackass 3D. He has no ego and always asks real questions like he actually cares. Most celebrities are super weird. Spike is an artist so he’s real.

Spike & Jeff Tremaine. Photos by me on the Set of Jackass 3D

He asked what I was working on. I told him a music video for Fatlip, from the Pharcyde. And he so innocently he responded in his childlike voice “Oh I made a video for Pharcyde once!”

Like uh, I know Spike. My video being an homage to his.

My video for Fatlip is Linked here.

Spike in weird hat all directors wear. Photo by me on the Set of Jackass 3D

But that was the best part. Spike never acted like he’s better than anyone. Then someone called him to set and I’m pretty sure he jumped on a BMX and rode away.

Spike on Bike. Photo by me on the Set of Jackass 3D

But the fun didn’t stop there. I would email him asking for the DUMBEST shit ever for years, Mostly for Kanye’s email. Bahahahahhaaha.

(Which I can proudly say I got on my own, thank you very much)

But so embarrassing regardless.

My next encounter with Spike I’d see him at a Wrap Party? I think It was for The 30 for 30 doc “The Birth of Big Air” I worked on. About BMX Legend Mat Hoffman. I had just gotten off set filming a behind the scenes video for Rihanna for a video sponsored by Doritos. When my friend Lawrence & I filmed Rih for her interview she said myself and the sound girl were CUTE. RIHANNA SAID WE WERE CUTE. And we screamed and high 5’d.

Anyways I digress. I see Spike and tell him about the Doritos Video. He asked what my favorite flavor of Doritos was, and I said Cool Ranch.

Then him and Knoxville proceeded to mock me for awhile cause they thought I said I had a “cool rash”

I kicked back some free Stellas and then Spike came to sit with me on a bench. A BENCH. And proceeded to tell me about a doc he referred me to direct for an artist friend of his, Sonny.

“Whatever you do, make this doc, just keep filming and don’t stop,” he said.

Whatever Spikey wants Spikey Gets.

So I meet with Sonny, who’s a crazy talented illustrator and artist. We hit it off gloriously but didn’t really work on the documentary much. We just would go for pancakes and talk about Terminator 2 a lot.

I didn’t really have any money at the time, I don’t think I had a job. And I remember asking the producer Spike told me would help with the film for some money.

They just wrote me back and told me to beg borrow and steal, do whatever it took to make the movie. MMMmm ok. I can’t even afford a gun how am I gonna rob someone?

I didn’t even have money for a hard drive to copy the footage too. I remember I had to throw away old footage from my career just to back up our dumb interviews.

Then Sonny decided he was in love with me. He wasn’t, he’s just an idiot. And went mental and said we couldn’t finish the doc. I remember I was on the freeway when I got the email (I know, I know, so unsafe) and I felt like a tidal wave hit the 101. I imagined all the cars being lifted into the air from the tsumani. Flipping backwards towards me, and I was swept away into my own fucking stupidity.

Maybe if I wore pants., or like wasn’t sexy? Or nice. I don’t fucking know. But this wasn’t the first or the last time this was an issue for myself and male collaborators.

But I blamed myself. As always and said fuck this. I didn’t want to deal with that shit either.

So I guess I let down Spike but what did he expect.

Sonny and tried to be friends after but he eventually sent me a dick pic which to this day I swear was photoshopped. My boyfriend at the time and now husband saw it. So that ended that.

I did end up tattooing the Name of Sonny’s Art show over my first husbands name that was on my arm. Which I still think is one of the funniest things I’ve ever done.

It says “I HOPE IT DOESN’T SHOW”

The idea came cause Sonny and I really were obsessed the Sparks song “Angst in my Pants” and it’s the first line of the song.

ANYWAYS.

I probably emailed Spike a few more times about dumb shit but mostly I was just over all of it. I needed to get my life together and stop expecting Spike Jonze to help me. I actually do think I asked him to meet for coffee and he said he was booked for the rest of the year. LOL. I got the message.

But he was always so nice and I’ll definitely invite him to my movie premier. I’m finally shooting a scene this Spring so I can get financing. I was gonna fund it myself but then I realized that’s insane and also I have no money.

Well,

Thanks for being you, Spike.

And I have watered my barren farm of hope lately, and the crops lookin Freshhhhhhh.

Sailor Spike. Photo by me on the Set of Jackass 3D